Sunday, May 11, 2014

Mother's Day

This year was the 18th year I have been a mom on Mother's Day.  This year was the 1st year that I was without two of my three kids.  The twins are away at college.  I was dreading this, wondering if I would wake up and feel sad.  Wondering if Simon would feel like he had to overcompensate.  Worrying that I would feel sad and Simon would then feel like he wasn't good enough - he always knows how I am feeling just by looking at me.  Here is how it played out…. 3 days ago a package came in the mail from Maddie and it said not to open until Mother's Day.  Yesterday I walked by the front door and there was a box from Pro Flowers - a beautiful bouquet of tulips from Brandon, with the nicest card.  One line in the card said he thought of me every day and wondered what I was doing.  Today I opened Maddie's package and she had a necklace engraved with two words "I'm Lucky".  When the kids were younger I would wake them up by singing this Red Grammar Song - I'm Lucky to them.  I won't leave the room until I hear them say the word "Lucky" at the appropriate time.
I'm "Lucky", spending my life with you.
I'm "Lucky", you know we're going to see it through.
I'm "Lucky", no-one has a smile like you.
I'm "Lucky", spending my life with you.
Some mornings I say "I'mmmmmmmm"…………… wait, wait, wait.  Start over, "I'mmmmmmm"  "lucky".
They would hide their heads in the covers, under pillows, grumble, yell.  They would get so mad.

So the older two are gone this year and they both were so thoughtful.  Brandon always gets me flowers for the window box he built me that hangs on the treehouse, this year the flowers came in a box to my front door.  Maddie, letting me know that she remembers and knows now how nice it is to have your mom wake you up in the morning.  So I started the week wondering how it would feel and ended up having the best Mother's Day ever.

And the one who is still here got to be in charge this year. He got to be the one who did everything today to make moms feel special, unload the dishwasher, walk the dog, treat me.  All by himself, he didn't have to share any of the hugs or praise.  And he presented me with the most beautiful artwork that he made in school.  It is hanging above the sink, proudly!  And tomorrow morning when I have to get him up for school, he will dive under the covers and be furious that he has to answer "Lucky".

Thursday, April 24, 2014

April Showers

Halfway through my spinning class at 5:30 this morning the rain started.  Here is what went through my mind:
* I have to walk the dog, he is going to be so muddy and wet and gross.
*Simon got to bed late and he is going to be tired and getting him up is going to be miserable.
*I didn't wear my glasses to class and now I have to drive home in rain and I'm probably going to wreck or hit a runner or something.
*My dryer is broken and I have to hang clothes on the line and now I can't today.
*I bet the basement is flooding…..

Then I turned it around, I remembered what it felt like when the kids were all little and I didn't have to wake them.  I would get my coffee and sit in the sunroom and let them sleep.  They would get up one by one and come down to the sunroom and we would slowly start our day.  Often we would open all of the windows in the sunroom and sit out there and just listen to the rain pour, then as it would let up we would listen to the birds start to sing.  I spent the last half of my ride remembering those days, picturing it in my head and feeling so thankful that I had that time.  I got home and Simon was awake and happy to see me.  We even had about 5 minutes to sit in the sunroom and listen to the rain.  He didn't sit on my lap, that would be weird.  But, I did see that same little boy in his face and eyes.

Monday, April 21, 2014

finding their friend groups

We have 3 kids, each of them have very different personalities but all of them have the same moral character.  This isn't easy to explain, but I am going to try because I hope someday they will read this and know that I got it.   I know that they never judge their friends or the decisions that their friends make.  I know that they have set a standard for their own decision making and have to navigate their social lives based on those choices.  They seek out kids who make the same decisions as they do and, thankfully, they have been very successful in that search.  The interesting part is how different their friend groups are from each other.  One has a group of quiet, builders, nature lovers, thinkers, technology lovers, hang out in small numbers, non-competitive sports.  Another has surrounded herself with funny, family first, loyal, listen to music, socially conscious, go for coffee and talk for hours friends. The third has active, social, gross motor skills, completive athletes, fast paced, high volume, high risk friends.  They have found their people, the ones who will support what is at their core.  What it means for me is that I have met three very different sets of parents.  I can't say that I would choose one set over the other, I have the unique opportunity to make friends with people of all walks of life.  Friends who I probably wouldn't seek out on my own had we not been thrown together by our kids.  It also means that we get to create a house that is a welcome spot for three very different sets of kids.  In about a month the older ones will be home and this place will be really busy again.  There will be kids in the treehouse, the basement, the kitchen, the backyard……  stay tuned.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

A lot to think about

There is a lot to think about today.  A husband in this group was diagnosed with ALS about a year ago.    I don't really know what else to say.  One of our friends put it well when she said that there isn't even a compartment in the brain for this disease.  Things are progressing quickly and it is hard to know what to do to help.  We are learning - learning that there are no dumb questions, that it is better to say that you don't know what to say or do instead of just leaving the family alone, learning that relationships can grow deeper than you ever thought they could.  He had a major setback this week and when I saw him yesterday he said he has taken a "mental hit".  We can help with meals, yard work, feeding, dressing…. but we can't help with "mental hits".  I hate that.  Also, a sweet friend who has been battling cancer for several years lost her battle this morning.  She was too young, her kids were too young, her work here wasn't finished.  Today my heart is heavy but through all of this I am learning that I am a good friend and that I have great friends and that pretty much trumps all of the sadness, the worry and the grief.

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Take aways from this weekend.  B loves turning 50, his birthday candles are propped on the kitchen window sill as a constant reminder.   My oldest son still needs my advice on the big things.  I have never had so much laundry that isn't finished as I do right now.  A bouquet of tulips can change my whole mood.  Milo snores, loudly.  I think I am good at my job but I am really nervous about an evaluation I have this week.  I still don't like scary shows.  

Saturday, March 29, 2014


Brian turns 50 Monday.  We had friends over last night to celebrate.  50 years of photos…. photos of good people, supportive people and memories of all kinds.  As we sat at dinner people would pick up a photo and ask about it or comment on it.  It was a very easy way for all of us to get a peek into the last 50 years, there was deep belly laughing, sweet stories and some looks that he had that only I knew were looks of a little sadness… missing someone, something or some time.  But isn't that great?  Wouldn't you rather miss those things than look back and think that you are happy it is over?  So the missing is good, too.  We were cleaning this morning and he looked in the sink before I took this photo and smiled and said, "50 years down the drain".

I found this today and love it.  

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Mother's Day gifts

Oh my gosh - where has the time gone?  It has been more than a month since I have written anything here!  All is well and all are well.  We are ready for summer, for an easier schedule.  I set up the backyard table yesterday, we will eat most of our meals out there and that is one of my all time favorite things to do.
Today we made silk scarves for Mother's Day gifts at the pre-school, they are so beautiful!  Each one is so different and it was really fun to see what colors the kids would choose for their mom.  I brought them home tonight to set and rinse them, they were so nice hanging together on the line.
More soon..... and by the way, in 1 month we will have two High School Seniors in this house! YIKE!