Thursday, April 24, 2014

April Showers

Halfway through my spinning class at 5:30 this morning the rain started.  Here is what went through my mind:
* I have to walk the dog, he is going to be so muddy and wet and gross.
*Simon got to bed late and he is going to be tired and getting him up is going to be miserable.
*I didn't wear my glasses to class and now I have to drive home in rain and I'm probably going to wreck or hit a runner or something.
*My dryer is broken and I have to hang clothes on the line and now I can't today.
*I bet the basement is flooding…..

Then I turned it around, I remembered what it felt like when the kids were all little and I didn't have to wake them.  I would get my coffee and sit in the sunroom and let them sleep.  They would get up one by one and come down to the sunroom and we would slowly start our day.  Often we would open all of the windows in the sunroom and sit out there and just listen to the rain pour, then as it would let up we would listen to the birds start to sing.  I spent the last half of my ride remembering those days, picturing it in my head and feeling so thankful that I had that time.  I got home and Simon was awake and happy to see me.  We even had about 5 minutes to sit in the sunroom and listen to the rain.  He didn't sit on my lap, that would be weird.  But, I did see that same little boy in his face and eyes.

Monday, April 21, 2014

finding their friend groups

We have 3 kids, each of them have very different personalities but all of them have the same moral character.  This isn't easy to explain, but I am going to try because I hope someday they will read this and know that I got it.   I know that they never judge their friends or the decisions that their friends make.  I know that they have set a standard for their own decision making and have to navigate their social lives based on those choices.  They seek out kids who make the same decisions as they do and, thankfully, they have been very successful in that search.  The interesting part is how different their friend groups are from each other.  One has a group of quiet, builders, nature lovers, thinkers, technology lovers, hang out in small numbers, non-competitive sports.  Another has surrounded herself with funny, family first, loyal, listen to music, socially conscious, go for coffee and talk for hours friends. The third has active, social, gross motor skills, completive athletes, fast paced, high volume, high risk friends.  They have found their people, the ones who will support what is at their core.  What it means for me is that I have met three very different sets of parents.  I can't say that I would choose one set over the other, I have the unique opportunity to make friends with people of all walks of life.  Friends who I probably wouldn't seek out on my own had we not been thrown together by our kids.  It also means that we get to create a house that is a welcome spot for three very different sets of kids.  In about a month the older ones will be home and this place will be really busy again.  There will be kids in the treehouse, the basement, the kitchen, the backyard……  stay tuned.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

A lot to think about

There is a lot to think about today.  A husband in this group was diagnosed with ALS about a year ago.    I don't really know what else to say.  One of our friends put it well when she said that there isn't even a compartment in the brain for this disease.  Things are progressing quickly and it is hard to know what to do to help.  We are learning - learning that there are no dumb questions, that it is better to say that you don't know what to say or do instead of just leaving the family alone, learning that relationships can grow deeper than you ever thought they could.  He had a major setback this week and when I saw him yesterday he said he has taken a "mental hit".  We can help with meals, yard work, feeding, dressing…. but we can't help with "mental hits".  I hate that.  Also, a sweet friend who has been battling cancer for several years lost her battle this morning.  She was too young, her kids were too young, her work here wasn't finished.  Today my heart is heavy but through all of this I am learning that I am a good friend and that I have great friends and that pretty much trumps all of the sadness, the worry and the grief.